Last month my friend Emma called me sounding a bit frustrated.
“I tried Ashwagandha for six weeks like you suggested, but I think I need to stop. It’s not working for me the same way it does for you.”

Emma is 31, works in marketing, and has always been sensitive to supplements. She started Ashwagandha hoping it would help with her constant low-level anxiety and poor sleep. I had shared my positive experience with her, so I felt a little responsible. I asked her to tell me exactly what happened, and her story was a good reminder that Ashwagandha isn’t the right fit for everyone — and that’s perfectly okay.

Emma’s experience with Ashwagandha

She started with 250 mg in the evening, mixed in warm milk just like I recommended. For the first two weeks, she noticed mild improvements: she fell asleep a bit faster and felt slightly calmer in the evenings. But by week three, things started going sideways for her.

She told me:

• She felt overly drowsy during the day, even though she took it only at night.
• Her motivation dropped — she felt “too calm” to the point of being unmotivated and flat.
• She started having vivid, strange dreams that left her feeling unrested.
• Her anxiety didn’t decrease much — if anything, she felt more emotionally numb than calm.

She gave it another couple of weeks, lowering the dose to 150 mg, but the heavy, flat feeling continued. She said it felt like her nervous system was being suppressed rather than gently balanced. After six weeks, she decided to stop completely.

When she quit, the first few days were a bit rough — she had rebound anxiety and lighter sleep. But after about a week off, she said she felt clearer and more like herself again. That’s when she knew it just wasn’t the right herb for her body.

What she switched to instead

After stopping Ashwagandha, Emma tried a different combination that has worked much better for her:

• L-Theanine (200 mg in the morning + 200 mg in the afternoon if needed) — for calm focus without drowsiness.
• Magnesium glycinate (300–400 mg in the evening) — for relaxation and better sleep.
• A simple nightly chamomile + lavender tea ritual — for the wind-down cue her body responds to.

She says the difference is night and day. L-Theanine gives her gentle calm during the day without making her feel flat or unmotivated. Magnesium helps her muscles relax and improves sleep quality without the heavy feeling she got from Ashwagandha. The tea ritual gives her the comforting evening cue she was missing.

After three weeks on her new stack, she told me her anxiety feels more manageable, she falls asleep easily, and she wakes up feeling clear instead of groggy. She still has stressful days, but she handles them better without feeling emotionally numb.

Why Ashwagandha didn’t work for her (but works great for me)

Emma and I have very different nervous systems. I tend to run high-cortisol, anxious, and wired. Ashwagandha’s cortisol-lowering and GABA-supporting effects calm me down beautifully. Emma, on the other hand, already has lower baseline energy and is more sensitive to sedating effects. What feels like “calm resilience” to me felt like “emotional flatness” to her.

This is why I always tell people: Ashwagandha is wonderful for many, but it’s not universal. Some people feel amazing on it, others feel too mellow or notice no difference at all. Emma’s experience reminded me how important it is to listen to your own body instead of forcing something that doesn’t feel right.

What I learned from her experience

Talking with Emma reinforced a few important lessons:

• Not every adaptogen works for every person — individual biochemistry matters.
• If something makes you feel “off” (too flat, too drowsy, emotionally numb), it’s okay to stop.
• Sometimes a lighter stack (L-Theanine + Magnesium) works better for sensitive systems.
• The ritual and consistency matter as much as the herb itself.

I still love Ashwagandha and take it daily because it fits my body perfectly. But I no longer recommend it as a one-size-fits-all solution. Now when friends ask, I say: “Try it for 4–6 weeks. If it feels good, great. If it feels heavy or flat, try L-Theanine or magnesium instead.”

My current balanced advice for friends

When someone asks me about Ashwagandha now, I tell them:

• Start very low (150–200 mg evening only)
• Give it 4–6 weeks to evaluate
• If you feel too drowsy or emotionally flat, stop and try L-Theanine + Magnesium
• Pay attention to how you feel, not just what the internet says
• It’s okay if it’s not for you — there are many good options

Emma is much happier with her current stack. She still has anxiety and sleep challenges, but they feel more manageable without the side effects she experienced with Ashwagandha. She even thanked me for encouraging her to listen to her body instead of forcing something that didn’t feel right.

Her story is a good reminder that wellness isn’t about finding the “best” supplement — it’s about finding what actually works for you. Ashwagandha is amazing for many people (including me), but it’s not the only tool. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is stop something that isn’t serving you and try something else.

Now when I make my evening golden milk, I smile thinking about Emma drinking her chamomile tea and L-Theanine. We’re both calmer, both sleeping better — just in different ways. And that feels like the real win.

If Ashwagandha feels perfect for you, keep going. If it feels heavy or flat like it did for Emma, it’s okay to stop and explore other options. Your body knows what it needs — sometimes we just have to listen carefully.